We live in a Sci-fi Self-Love story
The magic of this life keeps getting better and better the more I dive in to study it.
Truly, we’re in a scifi story, people!! We have skin suits that repair themselves and time machines inside our minds... Am I the only one jumping up and down inside my heart, here?
Here's how the love story goes:
At this time on Earth, the womb is a place where a lot of traumas happen, or are transmitted by the mother’s pregnancy experience, whether we want it or not, however wonderful and already loving our mothers can be. That's when we experience the original heart break: we are bathing in pure bliss and suddenly get separated from it as we take in the hits of this reality, each time something a little challenging occurs in our mother's experience. Birth is also one of the most traumatic experiences for the baby (and everyone involved, really). But like trauma informed somatic therapist Luis Mojica continuously says, trauma is not actually the problem. It’s how we respond to trauma that matters: studies show that if there’s correct regulation of the nervous system after the trauma, it’s actually a strengthening thing, for it informs our physical, emotional, mental and energetical bodies that they are more powerful than they thought they were, it is called resilience. It is called growth.
So yes, trauma happens in the womb and at birth. But it’s not the end of the world, nobody’s doomed: that’s what the first 3 years of life are here for. The opportunity for coming back to regulation. It takes at least 3 years, explains renowned neurologist Dr. Gabor Mate, 3 years of care-giving, feeding, cleaning, holding against a caregiver’s skin, being present to their emotions without invalidating them, allowing their little bodies – who do not have the capacity to self-regulate – to calm down over and over again from what they have just experienced in the womb and at birth, to find regulation, and live an optimal healthy life.
If that 3-year period of regulatio