The magic of this life keeps getting better and better the more I dive in to study it.
Truly, we’re in a scifi story, people!! We have skin suits that repair themselves and time machines inside our minds... Am I the only one jumping up and down inside my heart, here?
Here's how the love story goes:
At this time on Earth, the womb is a place where a lot of traumas happen, or are transmitted by the mother’s pregnancy experience, whether we want it or not, however wonderful and already loving our mothers can be. That's when we experience the original heart break: we are bathing in pure bliss and suddenly get separated from it as we take in the hits of this reality, each time something a little challenging occurs in our mother's experience. Birth is also one of the most traumatic experiences for the baby (and everyone involved, really). But like trauma informed somatic therapist Luis Mojica continuously says, trauma is not actually the problem. It’s how we respond to trauma that matters: studies show that if there’s correct regulation of the nervous system after the trauma, it’s actually a strengthening thing, for it informs our physical, emotional, mental and energetical bodies that they are more powerful than they thought they were, it is called resilience. It is called growth.
So yes, trauma happens in the womb and at birth. But it’s not the end of the world, nobody’s doomed: that’s what the first 3 years of life are here for. The opportunity for coming back to regulation. It takes at least 3 years, explains renowned neurologist Dr. Gabor Mate, 3 years of care-giving, feeding, cleaning, holding against a caregiver’s skin, being present to their emotions without invalidating them, allowing their little bodies – who do not have the capacity to self-regulate – to calm down over and over again from what they have just experienced in the womb and at birth, to find regulation, and live an optimal healthy life.
If that 3-year period of regulation - which is basically a big “IT’S OKAY IT IS SAFE TO EXIST IN THIS HUMAN FORM YOU ARE LOVED YOU ARE WORTHY YOU ARE OKAY” sigh - after a great big scare - if that period does not happen, then the baby grows up with all of these open wounds, unhealed, and therefore lives with some relative form of PTSD or CPTSD (Covert Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).
That is how pre-verbal conditioning happens and occupies the body and mind. (And then there’s all the verbal conditioning which is another story for another day…)
BUT... we are not doomed. That’s the epic news: there is a way to heal! A pretty badass one if you ask me.
Once the baby has become an adult, and is capable of bringing presence to the wounds of the past with their now adult regulating system, the healing can happen. Everything can be rewired. It takes time and devotion, (and it’s also the only true reason we are here).
How do we do it? By going within, and taking the time machine that was built in our bodies. That is the magic of this quantum reality: we can go back in time with our bodies and minds. You see, the wound now only exists as a memory within our bodies. And it is in there, right now. It’s a cellular memory. So, either it comes up as a trigger, an uncomfortable or painful situation, or we get to consciously go in and find it again. Either way, when we do, we get to give it the regulation (the big sigh of relief) it didn’t get at the time of the trauma. It means meeting the pain face to face and feeling it again, but this time without dissociating, we remain in the body, we become the parent to the baby nervous system that’s overwhelmed, we lead it gently back to regulation, by feeling it somatically which sends the very message: “it is safe to be in the body as I feel this”. As the information that it is safe is wired into the system, the scared baby doesn’t need to be reassured anymore. The memory is transformed. The ending has changed to a happy one where everyone survives. And so, the trigger doesn’t even appear anymore. That mechanism takes on MANY different forms and modalities but it is always the same concept of rewiring the system. And it is what heals ptsd in all forms.
Isn’t that sci fi badassness to you? I am in LOVE with our innate inner technology!
My akashic perspective on this:
The human beings alive at this time are meant to experience this challenge, for the sake of evolution. Because the next step in human evolution is knowing that we are Consciousness having a human experience. Therefore, knowing we are power, knowing we are light, knowing we are love. And how could we possibly know that, if it’s not seemingly taken away from us first so that we bring it in from the inside?
Once everyone has gone through this, the future generations will receive the proper regulation at birth and will have next level challenges to overcome. Who knows what those will be? But for us, it’s remembering our innate safety, remembering the power and light and love that we inherently are. So, we need to be forced one way or another to experience this truth cellularly, by being thrown off track and off our power, so that we literally have to go within to find it where it’s at.
So, humans, nothing is wrong, our parents didn’t abandon us, they didn’t even know, they were wounded in their wombs. The newer the generation the more sensitive we were so that we could not take it in anymore, so that healing became necessary, so that this link of the evolution chain may happen.
It’s all happening perfectly.
The story is meant to go this way so that the hero (us) realizes that the power to feel peace, power, love, abundance, safety, lies within self.
Our souls chose avatars of this kind and parents of this kind in order to accomplish this very mission.
If we don’t have that very missing link, how can we expect to learn ever that we are the ones able to find it? You never know what you have until you lose it. Wounds: experiencing the “losing it” part. Healing: going one step higher and realizing it was never really gone. We need the pain, the discomfort, the challenge, the fire, to drive us up that step, and embody the knowing that nothing can hurt us, so that it doesn’t show up in our reality anymore.
We experienced separation in the womb, only to become the love gluing back all the fragmented pieces together.
We are powerful alchemists, each and every one of us.
Rafaëlle Cohen