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Where's the gift in terror?

Updated: Mar 28

The dark forces have turned humans into weapons.

Horror. Terror. And yet I know there is a gift. Somewhere, there is a gift because life IS gift.

So, where is the gift in that? Where is the divine in that?

First of all I would like to take a moment to send a prayer of protection for all our loved ones and loved ones' loved ones, a prayer of rising for all the souls whose lives are ending each day in every current war of the world. I would like to send a prayer of love for all the families of the soldiers that depart, a prayer of light for all the children and adults that are taken and mistreated, a prayer of healing for all the injured and the families of the injured, a prayer of strength for all the caretakers and angels of all kinds that make sure things go as safely and smoothly as possible. May every heart be held in love, in reverence and remembrance, amen.

Now please don't mistake me, when life brings into my awareness the darkest aspects of this world, I don't just go to the gift: I feel my feelings + I find the gift. It is essential not to bypass feeling the feelings, however, to me, both go together. Because my feelings can only truly be held and felt in the warm arms of the gift. Sometimes the feelings overwhelm me and that's okay, but bypassing them is, in fact, missing the gift.

So here's my take on it.

I invite you to take a deep breath in.

And a deep breath out.

The first gift is the realization of what using one’s free will can come to when it doesn’t align to the truth of our divinity. Even when it’s done “in the name of divinity”. True divinity, to me, is just a complex word to say: everyone is one, one life force energy being aware of itself, everybody deserves to live in love and respect because everyone is the force of life itself. It’s quite simple. Don’t be so afraid of that word. It is what you are made of. Any other definition involving external beings in the sky controlling everything don't apply here, that would be fear-based dogma, not divinity. The complexity and mystery of our inherent divinity is beyond infinite but at the same time it is extremely simple. So no, by the way, when Life is purposely and deliberately destroyed, except for the sake of immediate self defense, it cannot be “in the name of the divine”. It can only be a deep forgetting of one’s own divinity. And there's value in witnessing the depths that things can come to, so that we can altogether choose otherwise, as a species. The gift is the opportunity to reframe.

The gift is the opportunity to touch the transcendent peace of atonement. To remember - after the anger, after the grief, these must come first - that none of this horror is actually taking away the divinity (part of oneness) from anyone, it’s not taking away the right to live and worthiness of any people. Not. Even. That. Reaching this understanding must take all the time it needs, some never reach it and that is okay. But ultimately, because of who we fundamentally are, it is the truth. The life force that animates all of us is pure magic. Period. Whatever you choose to do with it. That is what it means that we are all divine. The gift is to realize that humans that have become weapons to kill a people for the only reason that they exist, are miles away from remembering that. And they are therefore already in suffering for that matter. There is no need to blame them. The hurt is already done unto themselves. They are deeply forgetting their own divinity and oneness with all life and they are experiencing lifetimes of suffering because of that.

Falling into the trap of polarization is a possibility. But that’s also a version of forgetting. That’s how the dark force spreads. By dividing, by polarizing. It’s quite smart like that. The gift is the fire that urges us to rise above polarization. To choose what really matters. Existing in peace, in love. Not to identify with the victim, not to blame the perpetrator (all sides feel like victims anyway, so that’s just a question of perspective) but to feel, in sovereignty, everything that this destruction is bringing up within us, as mere humans, so that the unprocessed emotions don't then drive our actions in reactivity. The gift is to become that love and respect we wish to see between people, but for ourselves, instead of being in conflict with our emotions and blaming other people for them. The war must end within first. We must become responsible for our own emotions. There is a choice to be actively made, moment by moment, and it’s called being loving with whatever sensation arises in the body. Getting all up in our heads about who did what and why and it’s not fair and they should be punished is ALL a big distraction from the feelings that want to be felt within and that we haven’t been taught to feel. It’s an illusion of control that keeps us away from ourselves. It’s letting ourselves be attacked. It's an inner declaration of war.

Love is possible now, though. And now. And now. And now.

Love looks like choosing to learn to feel. In every now we remember to. There’s always a new opportunity to love. The weaponized humans are in constant war within themselves and that’s exactly what gets them to become weapons. Ultimately, from the Akashic perspective, a deeply philosophical perspective if you will, please remember one thin: the dark forces that convince us of our separateness is part of the Oneness team. Because absolutely everything is part of the Oneness team, by definition. Dark forces are intense teachers, allowing us to master our practice of choosing to remember who we truly are (pure magic aware of itself) even in the face of difficulty. It’s allowing us to bring up the gunk within us that hadn’t been seen until then and stand strong in love in the face of it.

Here is the biggest and most simple teaching on being human: the guilt, the shame, the fear, the sadness, the rage, are ultimately the forgetting of being one with All, deserving of love, totally inherently worthy and innocent (because we’re simply pure magic being aware of itself, and any harmful act comes from a deep forgetting of that). That is what these emotions are always all about.

In other words, if you’re not more or less constantly blissfully orgasming at the idea and somatic experience of being alive, YOU ARE ON SOME LEVEL FORGETTING WHO YOU ARE. AND THAT'S OKAY. IT MAKES SENSE. Needless to say humanity is deep in forgetting right now. Because only relatively few people experience that today. It’s not anyone's fault at this point. But we do have is the power to transform that. Now. To start to practice that. This is what it is all about.

The gift is in the opportunity to bring awareness to the inner conflicts we all still unconsciously carry, and that are preventing us from living the ultimate heavenly experience. Heaven is a frequency, a perspective, available to ALL OF US. And it won’t be found by blaming the darkness. The only answer is through feeling. Integrating. Any gunk and uncomfortable feeling you’ll find in you, if you dive deep enough you’ll realize it was always just a part of you that was forgetting, that was afraid that you were not divine (deserving of love) in one way or another.

The gift is waking up to the desire of getting to know how we function, learning how to regulate our nervous systems, how to release stored emotions so that the remembrance of the truth may happen cellularly, neurologically. Loving ourselves. “There is a crack in everything, that’s where the light gets in”. Leonard Cohen. Wounds always carry gifts. Me and thousands of humans are here to assist you in transforming war into love now. Reach out.

In love,


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