I’m on my way, but I don’t know where to.
It’s a recalibration. I know that for sure, because I trust fully that I’m not here for nothing. Nobody is. I am Love desiring to experience itself. And doing it, in every Now. We just created the illusion of time to stretch the experience and differentiate moments, so I am actually accomplishing a divine purpose in every moment, and that’s why I’m here. I’m fine really. And sincerely, I am grateful for all the things I get to experience, my 5 senses, my rainbow of emotions, the levels of safety, of sex, of impact on the world, of love, of expression, of intuition, and of connection I have are truly amazing.
And to tune into that gratitude is a practice of every moment.
And I get to set an intention for my life. I get to ask myself what I truly want. What I want to create. What’s important to me? What is so important that I want to dedicate my Now fully to it?
The truth is I don’t know anymore. My wings have been burnt. I have started so many projects and have given in to the doubts – rightfully rising to ask me “where exactly are you going?” – because THE INTENTION wasn’t there. And so now I’m left with a bunch of unfinished projects which makes the shame story show up, and therefore even more fog around my intention.
But you know what? I’m actually grateful for the fog getting foggier. One needs to hit rock bottom to bounce back up. Or in any case understand – innerstand – what needs to be innerstood. And I’m getting it now. I’m being asked to level the fuck up on my masculine energy: to accept that I CAN actually do nothing until it is clear to me what my intention is. Setting an intention is what gives me the safety of direction, of structure. When I know where I’m going I feel safe, because I have a reference, a direction. When I don’t have a direction I don’t have a Why. I do things for no reason, and my unconscious pattern is to try to replace that sense of safety with validation from the outside world.
So where am I going? How do I want to use this life?
The pattern would say: see what things “look good” to me (what “looks” good automatically implies that the choice depends on what is seen, therefore depends on the outside world) and then set your intention on becoming that. It’s one way. That’s what I’ve done so far, hence my calling it a “pattern”. But now that I know this doesn’t work how can I unsee it?
I may see Lady Gaga making tons of money and being an inspiring voice for people, but if I were as famous and as successful as her, that mere fact wouldn’t even make me feel that way. I know it, I’ve tried it (on a smaller scale obviously, but still, truly treated like a star).
I may dream of beautiful luxurious houses with a view on the beach and an immense bedroom, but I’ve had that before too, and I didn’t even really care that much for it being what it is once I was there.
That’s one reason why I have come to understand, that the exterior circumstances do not shape our experiences. The quality of our experience of life depends absolutely completely on our conscious decision to find the gratitude and ecstatic bliss that there is – sometimes well hidden – in every single Now moment. And that is coming home. That is who we truly are. That is what some people call God. It is the energy of Bliss.
And it’s not quantifiable. Yes there are frequency levels that have been measured, but living (our true purpose) is dancing a dance between all of them. They are all meant to be lived, there is no frequency better than the other: it is the activity of living them, and witnessing them that is Bliss and Freedom. As soon as you put a name on something it becomes something you can observe and not identify with. That’s how we truly free ourselves, and come home to Love over and over and over again. That is what one might call becoming aware of being God. That sweet relief of not identifying with anything we’re experiencing, is the bliss we’re actually constantly seeking. That’s transmutation in every moment. It’s so subtle it sounds like nonsense for the mind. So the mind tries to grasp onto tons of other explanations and to do do do to reassure itself. Mind is fear. A forgetting of being already safe, free, loved, abundant etc. A necessary fear to experience this life, and to be used merely as a tool, a boundary.
We’re here in 3D humans to forget in a very specific intricate multidimensional way, that we are Love, Bliss, Abundance, Power, Joy, so that we can keep remembering it. Over and over again.
I want the world to know that. And to stop living in illusions upon illusions upon illusions. And who’s right and who’s wrong and who’s accepted and who’s not and who’s beautiful and who’s not and who’s to blame and who’s the victim and oh poor you and oh poor me. I dream that this transmutes so that we can finally enjoy life, the way it could be. We have the power to do that.
Let’s answer the actual questions of this world. Does it really mean I’m a bad person if I steal, kill, rape a child? What does it mean to be a bad person? Who’s the one keeping check? We’re living on the basis of misunderstood interpretations of channeled texts that humans did not have the power to understand. AND it is thanks to our fearful forgetful experiences that some of us can understand now. Grateful for it all.
Time to remember. Maybe I’m getting closer to my Intention.
I am Love.
And so I love you.