The inner critic. Convinced he will save you by making sure you correspond to his ideal. And he will accept nothing less, because if you are anything less than his ideal, you won’t be loved, heard, or even worthy of existing. Kind of a big deal, right?
Well… breaking news. However convincing he may be, it’s bs. You don’t need to please that inner-critic anymore. You don’t need to reach that ideal anymore. You never did, really, but you needed to believe it then, when expressing your actual truth didn’t feel safe. You needed to protect your truth, then, and share something else instead, something more ideal. You weren’t ready yet, then*. And that is actually exactly the way it’s supposed to be, that’s what I find mind-blowing in this life.
Let me show you the beauty I see:
So the actual Truth is that what is coming out of you Right Now is enough. It’s fucking epic. The definition of epicness is not what everyone told you it was. Your mind might be telling you epicness is when the pitch is perfect, or when the painting is perfectly resembling, but that’s actually a scam. A coping mechanism connected to millions of others you built a long time ago. Maybe lifetimes ago, who knows. No need for that anymore because there is nothing attacking anymore. You are here now, and you can choose to know how safe you already are in sharing your imperfect truth.
The actual magical truth is: treat everything that comes out of you as gold, and it will become it. Hack the mind. It knows not: under his protective appearance, supposedly from the sh!t, your inner-critic actually creates more sh!t! More fight or flight responses. Nothing good comes out of that. (When you’re not actually attacked physically, cause then yes you do need to fight or flee). What you create is always gold no matter what it looks like, sounds like, tastes like, smells like. It is gold because it is YOU. And seeing yourself that way on every level of your life is the only way to what you’re actually really looking for: BLISS, FLOW, POWER. Have you ever heard Bob Dylan sing a whole song with every note exactly in tune? How can perfectionism be even a thing when we know the flow-full powerhouse of a success that man is?! The inner-critic seems convincing but in truth he will NEVER take you there… It’s a scam.
But where’s the beauty in the scam, then!! You ask? Glad you did.
Here’s the thing. It seems as though we’re supposed to reject the bs and want the inner-critic to disappear asap because how dare he fool us like this, right? Well actually, the secret lies in doing exactly the opposite. In letting him speak. For he is but an afraid child. And in the moments when the sensations become unbearable, honor your tender body. Slow WAY down. Love on the self-attacking sensations and inner voices. Find the strength to live inside your body in those moments, and allow it to feel that way. Find the extra gentleness, extra self-compassion, extra fascination for the wildly uncomfortable feelings it brings into your body. Express the rage, feel the disgust, take the time for yourself. Stop thinking for a moment and just feel. Just let it be. And thank your self-attacking voices, thank your self-abandonment sensations. For they’re allowing your inner-knowing, your inner-confidence to rise more than ever. They are summoning your Light to the surface. Because only that kind of light can shine onto that kind of darkness. And you didn’t have that light even in your brightest moments, until now.
That is the beauty I see: the base metal inner-critic becomes gold, because thanks to the very realization that it doesn’t have the power to rule you anymore, you become more empowered and bright than you’ve ever been. It was a gift all along.
Shine on, you crazy diamond.
*In truth there is no time, and it is merely a frequency you can choose out of, by shifting your perspective on it. You can shift the frequency of your being by seeing it as divine, by hearing that fearful melody in a higher octave