I remember the moment.
After years of meditating and working on myself, there was a specific moment I realized the number of self-deprecating thoughts that would run through my mind by the minute.
I was shocked. I could now hear them clearly, it was a continuous flow of hatred, pressure to do more, self-judgment, and thoughts of the like.
I had awakened to a huge layer that was before in the shadow, running the show without me realizing it. My life has been all about coming back to the body since then, and using these thoughts to alchemize and widen my awareness.
I now very well know that even when we think we know we are loved and worthy and safe, intellectually, our unconscious may not. We may not embody-know it.
If you were born in the last 100 years, you probably have not embodied-learned how loved you were. For absolutely no reason. Because those whom you could have learned it from weren’t taught it either.
Sure, you might have received many I love you’s and many proofs of love in various ways, but the utter “wow” effect, the full-on ce-le-bra-tion you truly deserve non-stop, you probably only received it when you were a baby and not aware of receiving it, or on occasions, like when you wore a beautiful dress or something “oh wow look at you! you’re so beautiful!!” (Usually if you’re a woman). What does that leave as an imprint in the body? That you’re valuable and important only because and when you’re beautiful.
For men, it would probably be when you showed strength or when you achieved astounding results. Although of course it’s not rigidly stuck to genders. All humans of all genders, usually at this point in time, received the celebration they actually deserve for absolutely everything (blinking, farting, smiling or hiccupping) only for certain specific socially agreed-upon reasons.
And so, it taught our nervous systems what? That we are valuable only for those reasons. Even if intellectually, you know it’s not true, your body has created neural pathways that will retain only that information as true.
Do you ever stop and think about the fact that you are a living breathing piece of art?
That you are valuable just because you are a multidimensional hyper complex structure that perceives and creates things and beings?
That you are an emanation of divine principles in so many fractal ways?
A graceful expression of love, eternally connected to a limitless source of safety, of electromagnetic power, of bliss?
Maybe you do, but if it’s not in your nervous system wiring, you’re not going to embody-know it and act accordingly. You will more likely feel threatened when a beautiful woman/strong man walks by you.
Most humans at this point in time didn’t embody-learn that we are made of the same infinite life-force which creates Everything, just experiencing one version of what it means to be alive, one perception. That we don’t need to achieve anything or be anything in order to receive value because we actually already are it all.
All diseases, be it an ill human or an ill society at large, all destructive or controlling aspect of any system stem from the repeated forgetting of that mysterious truth over and over again.
And it makes sense that we have come to that, because everyone has that innate need inside: to know they are worthy, lovable and loved, powerful and free, safe, nourished, secure, confident. Everyone needs those things.
So, what does one do when they live in a society that doesn’t know this, when they think they don’t have those things within them? Naturally, they try to compensate, and find them elsewhere! One will try and look as pretty as possible, one will try and be as rich as possible, one will try to be as powerful as possible, regardless of whether it is destructive to others or not, one needs one’s basic needs!
That is when humans start undertaking actions that ultimately are bound to disrespect the world, and themselves: because none of those things will ever be found elsewhere than within.
And if you’re seeing it around you, it is also happening within you.
How many times do you shame yourself for yawning? How many times do you hate your body in the mirror? Think about every single action you take, every single thought running through you along the day. Is it love? Is it trust? Is it a deep knowing of your safety, your abundance, your inner-power?
Nothing is wrong with you if you answered no. Of course you feel shame! Of course you feel guilt! Of course you seek to be the most beautiful one, the most accomplished one, the strongest one! You were programmed to. And your parents too, and theirs too, it’s been going on for eons.
But guess what? You are loved, safe, worthy, secure and powerful anyway! And you have the choice in every moment to remember that.
We have the power to create a trusting world, and it is ourselves we need to learn to respect and trust first. That means actively choosing awareness and love over anything running your mind.
Rafaëlle